Trailer of the Week: Black Swan

I guess Darren Aronofsky isn’t done trying to mess with our heads. I consider his 2000’s effort Requiem for a Dream the most disturbing movie of all time and by far the best piece of anti-drug propaganda out there. Seriously, they should cancel D.A.R.E., stop making those annoying “above the influence” commercials, and show kids Requiem in fourth grade health class instead. They won’t do drugs until they’re at least 30, trust me. But then you have to take into account the cost of psychiatric counseling they’ll need after seeing the movie, so I guess someone should run the numbers and figure out which option is cheaper. My vote’s still with Requiem (see the trailer here).

Anyway, his newest movie, Black Swan, disturbed me just from the trailer. Take a look at the trailer here.

After watching it a few times, these are the things that freak me out the most:

1. Natalie Portman’s mom. Played by the same actress as the teacher from Hoosiers (one of the best sports movies ever made), the part when she’s clipping Natalie Portman’s character’s nails gives me the creeps. I think Aronofsky is some sort of expert at making middle-aged women scary.

2. The fact that it’s about ballet. Typically, dance-themed movies deal with coming of age (Step Up, Step Up 2: The Streets, Step Up 3D, you get the picture). Funny enough, Black Swan also seems to be a coming of age tale, except more of an incredibly dark, loss of innocence/descent into insanity sort of coming of age. Speaking of which, I really hope they make Step Up 4: Your Lives and turn it into a horror movie. Cinema gold.

3. Mila Kunis. I know you’re thinking, “What’s so scary about her? Natalie Portman’s the one going nuts,” but hear me out on this. Mila Kunis does the voice of Meg on Family Guy. Mila Kunis is very attractive. Meg is horridly ugly and is the butt of everyone’s jokes for being so hideous. Mila Kunis is very attractive. This does not compute.

4. This is the first time Vincent Cassel has front billing for an American movie. For being pretty much the only good part of Ocean’s Twelve, stealing the show in Eastern Promises, and starring in a bunch of popular French films, I figured he had by now starred in at least a couple American made movies. However, a quick scroll down his IMDb page proved me wrong. This is a travesty, and hopefully Black Swan will convince Hollywood to finally embrace this guy. He’s the real deal.

5. NATALIE PORTMAN IS TURNING INTO A F***ING SWAN! Need I say more?

Basically, I’m really excited for this to come out (it’s scheduled to be released sometime in December). I know for some of you out there the part of the trailer where Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis make out is enough to make you want to see the movie, but still, if you enjoyed Inception, Shutter Island, Memento, or any movie that screws with your head, you might want to check out Black Swan when it comes out.

Oh, and did I mention that Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis make out? I did? Okay, good. Just making sure.

-Ben Neumann ‘14