Movie News: Sucker Punch

What the f***?

Seriously, though, what the f***?

That was the first thing I thought after watching the trailer for Sucker Punch. There is some crazy stuff going on in that short two-and-a-half-minutes clip, and it took a few viewings (and some Googling) for me to figure out what was actually happening. Now, let me make it clear that I want to give Zack Snyder the benefit of the doubt. After all, he made 300, the greatest man movie of all time, as well as Watchmen, one of my favorite super hero movies of all time (if you didn’t like Watchmen because you thought it was too long and confusing, suck it up and watch it all the way through. In fact, some of the best movies ever made are three-plus hours long, so all you people out there who get bored after a 90 minute Adam Sandler movie should stop hitting shuffle on your iPods every five seconds and grow an attention span. I digress.) So yes, I do want to buy the premise of Sucker Punch hook, line, and sinker, and be blown away by its amazing effects, but I can’t. To be quite honest, it looks to me like the worst attempt at originality I have ever seen. Almost every aspect of the trailer and plot is lifted from a movie made in the past decade or so, in some cases movies that are out right now.

To be fair, I think it’s near impossible for any movie to be completely original. Most filmmakers have seen tons of movies, and when they’re not doing remakes or sequels they still subconsciously incorporate elements of the movies they’ve seen into their own work. It just frustrates me to no end how this movie wants to be original yet fails so miserably. With a tagline like “Close your eyes, open your mind, you will be unprepared,” they are clearly trying to make us think the movie will break some new ground. Funny enough, after watching the trailer a second time I could easily match elements of the movie to parts of movies still fresh in my memory. You may disagree with me, but see these incredibly blatant examples don’t change your mind:

Using your imagination to free yourself from a harsh reality, lifted from Pan’s Labyrinth (2006). Back when this movie came out the concept was quite novel, but not anymore.

A bunch of scantily clad, bad-ass chicks with guns, lifted from Sin City (2005). Now that was an original movie.

An old dude with karate clothes giving sage wisdom, lifted from Kill Bill Vol. I and II (2003, 2004). Seriously, that guy in the trailer looks EXACTLY like Bill as played by the late David Carradine.

A creepy insane asylum from the 50’s, lifted from Shutter Island (2010). It even looks the same.

Needing to find a bunch of random items to complete a quest, lifted from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. I and II (2010, 2011). You really thought you could slip this by us while the movie’s still in theaters?

The entire concept of entering a dream world, lifted from The Matrix (1999) and most recently

Inception (2010). Can we have a once-every-ten-years limit on this type of movie, please?

This dream world having vastly different environments where you need to complete missions, lifted from Inception, again. Alright, this is just getting ridiculous.

Dear Zack Snyder,

We know you’ve only made movies based other people’s material, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Not everyone has to be Quentin Tarantino. And you’ve made a big step directing a movie you wrote yourself, no one’s denying that. But, from the looks of things, it seems like original material might not be your strong suit. Don’t worry, we still want you to make a follow-up to 300 and direct the next Superman, but in return we’d appreciate it if you kept you ideas to yourself.

Thanks,

Me and anyone who agrees with me, if you’re out there.

--Benjamin Neumann ‘14